Pans Has a Problem
by dunderheaded-ninny-muggins
Summary: Written as a gift for holden writes for the LJ 2019 sshg giftfest Original Prompt: Pansy decides that she's tired of Hermione being top at everything and in an effort to take her down a peg, she passes a note around a Potions class. Snape intercepts it and decides to read it aloud only to read filthy things about himself… and the note is signed Hermione.


Pans Has a Problem

bRecipient/b holden_writes

bTitle:/b Pans Has a Problem

bAuthor/Artist:/b ?

bPairing:/b Severus/Hermione, Draco/Harry, Draco/Pansy

bRating:/b M

bWord Count/Art Medium/Craft Material:/b 2,100ish

bContent:/b No warnings

smallbDisclaimer:/b All recognizable characters belong to JK Rowling and associates. No copyright infringement intended./small

bSummary:/b

bAuthor's Note:/b Special thanks to my wonderful beta MO, you helped me fix my rookie mistakes during crunch time!

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Original Prompt: Pansy decides that she's tired of Hermione being top at everything and in an effort to take her down a peg, she passes a note around a Potions class. Snape intercepts it and decides to read it aloud only to read filthy things about himself… and the note is signed Hermione.

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Pansy Parkinson sits in the back of the potions classroom seething, her long green nails tapping against the cold stone desk as she stares at the bushy haired know-it-all, the bane of her existence, the goody goody war heroine bint otherwise known as Hermione Granger. She has never liked the girl, always top of the class, always knowing the answers to every bloody question, and a Muggleborn on top of everything else. Alongside her love for Draco Malfoy, she also enjoys taunting Hermione. She especially loves reminding her of the time Draco made her already large teeth grow to unfathomable lengths.

Now years later she has a new reason to hate the girl; the bitch was trying to steal her man! After the war and the downfall of the Dark Lord, all of the surviving seventh year students were offered a chance to retake their final year at Hogwarts, but only after receiving what the officials called "rehabilitation therapy" for a year. They where they were required to meet with a therapist as well as take group classes to help heal and become better citizens. For some, like the children of Death Eaters, this was a chance to turn over a new leaf, or so that's what they were told. They really knew it was so the Ministry could keep an eye on the adults. For others, like the girl in question, it was a way to heal and complete their education to go do grand things or such rot.

Pansy's suspicion first started when the students rode the train from Kings Cross. She had gone to the usual compartment expecting to see Draco and instead she found it full of first years. In a furious frenzy, she stormed the train searching for him, slamming the doors harder and harder as her search came up empty. She finally found him in a compartment with people she never would have expected: Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, and Hermione Granger. To say she was both parts confused and furious would be an understatement. With a screech, she pulled the blonde in question out and proceeded to drag him to an empty compartment where she yelled at him for the remainder of the ride to the castle.

Her second suspicion came about when she started to notice Draco becoming distant. He stopped hanging out with her and their fellow Pureblood Slytherins. He started to spend more and more time either in the library or out on the Quidditch Pitch, usually making it back just before curfew before going straight to the boys' dorms. Then after a week or so she saw him starting to walk to and from classes with Potter and Granger. At first she thought she was just mistaking him for that loony Lovegood girl. But no, that was indeed her Draco walking with the two Gryffindors. One night before he could slip past her, she tried to confront him on his odd behavior, but he just scowled and brushed past her.

The third and final nail to the coffin so to speak, was last month at breakfast in the Great Hall. There had been rumors going around that the know-it-all had taken all of the NEWTS privately at the ministry in order to start an apprenticeship with the Bat of the Dungeons, one Potions Master Severus Snape, most recently known as the spy hero of the war. Pansy had noticed that since the students' return, the professor and the girl had been spending more and more time together, whether speaking quietly after class or seen to be headed to his private lab on the weekends. She as well as others never questioned it because of his apparent dislike for the girl, before the war and even now in class he seemed just as surly as ever towards her.

That morning at breakfast as the meal was nearing its end, the mail came into the hall by a wave of owls varying in sizes and colors, all carrying a wide range of items from boxes to letters. As Pansy paid the owl that brought her package, and opened her copy of Witches Weekly she noticed a hush had gone over the hall as all eyes now stared at a grand Eurasian Eagle Owl now stood in front of Granger with an envelope in its talon, as well as a plain ministry owl with a small scroll with the ministry wax seal in its talon. She eyed the two before giving the ministry owl a piece of what looked like bacon and retrieved the scroll. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and quickly opened the scroll, staying silent as she quickly scanned the results of her NEWTS. Her face broke into a huge grin and she stood up yelling, "I did it! 7 Outstandings!"

Potter stood up and pulled her into a hug, and then to Pansy's great shock, Draco jumped up and ran over to pull her into a hug as well. They both started laughing and talking before she pulled away abruptly and turned to the large owl still waiting on the table. She smiled softly and stroked its beak before she gave it a piece of bacon as well. She retrieved the envelope and opened it with caution, smiling a huge silly grin as she removed a document, a note, as well as an object Pansy couldn't see. She rushed to grab what looked like a quill from her pack, quickly signed the document which magically sealed itself and then vanished in the blink of an eye. She read the note before doing something with the mystery object to her cloak. When she removed her hands, gasps were heard, and there on her cloak sat a Potions Apprentice pendant. Its shape of a bubbling cauldron with a serpent wrapped around it was visible clear across the hall where Pansy sat.

Pansy sat frozen as both Draco and Potter picked Hermione up into a huge hug, which made her throw her head back and laugh. As they put her down, both boys kissed her on the cheek and dragged her from the hall. Pansy couldn't move. She had to blink back tears as it appeared her love had moved on to the other girl. Then something in her snapped, and she vowed then and there to get revenge on the bitch. No one stole her man and got away with it. Pansy quickly gathered her things, breakfast forgotten, and rushed to the library to begin plotting her revenge. She spent every free minute planning and researching, now a month later and after two failed attempts, she is truly pissed and looking forward to seeing her best plan yet about to go into action.

Now Pansy sits and waits for the perfect time to put her plan into action. She discovered through some stealthy eavesdropping that the girl has a crush on the dark potions master, which is funny since she is also going after her man. So she devised a way to humiliate the bitch in front of both men, so they know she is interested in Snape. After several hours of going through tome upon tome, she found the answer to her issue. She created a note that appears to be in the girls handwriting and is even signed by her that tells of what "she" really thinks of the professor. And after some foolish wand waving, the professor in question will find the note and read it out loud.

The professor starts to prowl around the classroom checking each cauldron to see how the potions are progressing. As he does this, Granger is up at the front grading the other years papers, since she is technically not a student anymore but an apprentice, Pansy idly notices that Hermione isn't wearing the Hogwart's uniform, but instead is wearing a sweater paired with what the Muggles call jean pants under her black cloak. When Snape's back is turned, Pansy quickly pulls out her note and slides it to the floor. As he starts to walk again, she flicks her wand and has the note slide across the floor sliding past Snape on its way to Granger. As it gets to her and she picks it up, he is quick as a flash and opening it up.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" he purrs dangerously. "It appears that my know-it-all apprentice is passing notes in my class to our students. Why don't I read it to the class so everyone can know what's so important that it can't wait until the end of the lesson."

Granger blushes furiously, "But Master Snape I don't know what that is, I haven't been..." but Snape cuts her off before she could finish her sentence. He sneers at her, his eyes glittering as he turns away to address the class. He casts a freezing spell over the cauldrons to stop any accidents so they can give him their full attention. "Now where were we? Ah yes, this note that nobody wrote." There are chuckles around the room and smirks shot to the embarrassed girl. Pansy smirks and leans back in her seat to watch the drama unfold. _Sso far so good_, she thinks.

"Oh how I yearn to tell him that his eyes as dark as the sea are mesmerizing and draw me in like a magnet. Just the thought of him thrusting into me while he stares into my eyes, gods and his hands so long and strong looking. The thought of those hands on my body touching places nobody's ever touched before send shivers down my spine just thinking about it. And his voice, so deep and mesmerizing can hold me captive even when he is lecturing. His long black hair, so thin and fine looking…" He breaks off suddenly and slowly turns to stare at Granger. Her head is down and she's shaking from smiles widely as the belittling is about to begin.

"Class dismissed!" He barks at the class. Pansy jumps up and starts to gather her supplies, pouting since she can't be there to hear the abuse he is sure to throw at the girl, and also irritated that nobody else will hear it either. A sudden thought occurs to her while doing her research, she found a spell that would allow her to listen through anything to hear what is being said. Though it's considered dark magic for reasons she can't for the life of her remember, she decides to do the spell after she leaves the classroom.

As the class falls out of the room going in both directions, Pansy stays back just by the door in the shadows of the corridors. She squats down and as the door slams shut she throws the spell towards it. Then just as clear as if she was in the room with them, she hears speaking. "So Miss Granger," he purrs, his voice seeming deeper than before, "It would seem that you imagine me thrusting above you, and pulling my hair as I pound into you, my thick hard member driving into you over and over." Pansy shivers in disgust and swallows hard to prevent a gag from being heard.

Then to her utter amazing she hears the chit laughing, "Oh Severus, I don't know who wrote that but they have almost all of it spot on, because I don't have to imagine what it would be like. I already know."

"Who do you think wrote it then, little minx?" he says quietly. Pansy hears a breathless giggle as she responds, "I would bet all my Galleons it's Pansy. Ever since we all came back to school, she has been watching me like a hawk, and since I got my apprenticeship she has been trying to do things to me that fail every time. I think she is convinced I'm trying to take Draco from her, which is odd because he and Harry have been an item for about a year now. Draco said he told her back in fifth year they were over and things weren't going to work."

Pansy covered her mouth as she gasped. She remembers that, but it was a mistake. She and Draco were supposed to be together, and since when were Draco and Potter a thing? She's had enough. She snatches up her bag and is about to end the spell when she hears a moan. With a sound of disgust, she ends the spell and storms away. If the bint wants to sleep with the greasy bat that's her own business, but Pansy has a man to confront!

Fin


End file.
